How to Become Mentally Tough?
From an entrepreneur point of view, mentally tough is the ability to have resiliency for fear and risk through confidence and skill. The situation and people you are dealing with will condition you to become mentally tough.
This was a loaded question I received because there is no one solution for everyone and all advice on this topic needs to be customized to the individual and to their specific situation. I have disclosed my general recipe on the subject...........
Past Experiences
My past experiences through life were not all rainbows and unicorns. There were some trauma and tough circumstances throughout my childhood into my early adulthood. Not everyone has had this. I started working when I was 14 years old and moved out of my home when I was 17 years old. Not everyone did or does that.
I can tell you, however, the more times you overcome challenges in your life, the more mentally tough you will be. Instead of being sympathetic, you become empathetic. When a person hits rock bottom, there is nothing else in their mind that could be worse; therefore, they have an outlook of, “What else do I have to lose?” They have built resiliency for fear.
The more times you have overcome a situation, the better you get at overcoming situations. This builds resiliency for risk. The more you have had to fend for yourself, the more common sense you will have to survive in the world.
To those who do not have the past experiences to become mentally tough, I would recommend you go volunteer at your local homeless shelter or at an organization who specializes in working with people who are in need. This will give you an insight into challenges you may not have been aware of, you will be giving back to your community, and you can help those people in need.
Get Educated
Being mentally tough is not only about past experiences, but it is also about confidence and strategies that work, or I like to call it…being creative and savvy. I can honestly tell you, the more educated you are, the more mentally tough you are going to be.
Being educated will help give you the knowledge to know when to hold them or fold them or walk away....(Kenny Rogers)....Meaning, you will have the knowledge to know if the projects or situations you are spending your time and money in is logical and reasonable to be chasing.
It is tough to be advocating for something when that something is designed to fail, this would decrease anyone's mental toughness who is supporting those types of projects because other people would be able to easily come in and find flaws. Be educated enough to produce products and services where all gaps are covered as well as work for things you honestly, truly believe in.
Build mental toughness by being confident in your own outputs. A thought is your own perception of the world, but how is that going to help and benefit you if you do not have all the tools to make your own decisions productive?
There could be 2 different people viewing the same situation and both have different feelings and perspectives about the situation. Being educated enough to filter through the specific information and not solely depend on others, will make you more mentally tough. With that said, listen to everyone's insight, contemplate your own thoughts, merge all the ideas, and create your own individual super opinion.
Be Positive
Your thought controls your actions, be sure you stay positive and feed yourself kind words. Enough said.
Become Self-Sufficient
I assume what most people refer to not being mentally tough is the fear of risk. The most important thing you could do for yourself is to be 100% self-sufficient. You need to set up your life where you do not have to depend on someone else. This does not mean you do not work with others or depend on others for some things, it means, “behind the scenes,” you have created to the best of your ability your own security with your own savings, education, and job security. The more solid you are, the more mentally tough you will be because you will feel confident to accept more risk.
Identify Suppressors
There are lots of people who test others mentally and they will see if they can break you. When I worked in the financial services industry as one of the only females in the company, it happened all the time where I had competitors trying to pull one over on me or suppress my productivity. Sad to say, I have not worked anywhere that this does not happen. It may not be as intense as some positions I have had, but it is indeed everywhere in every industry.
The fiercer an industry you are in, the more this is likely to happen because the environment is extremely competitive and some people are operating in fear themselves…which is out of your control. The best advice is to get educated and street savvy enough to see through the smoke. Be able to debate and have a compelling conversation to show your wit and keep your strategies efficient to have high productivity.
Stay away from people who distract or suppress you. If you cannot stay away, then on the down low......learn to recognize when someone is doing this to you and analyze the situation for solutions to implement in the future. A suppressor's job is to make you not mentally tough, be strong and don't let these types of people negatively impact your confidence or performance.
Surround Yourself with Winners
Surround yourself with people on the same mission as you to build your confidence. Becoming confident is becoming mentally tough. Just because someone says no to you, should not make you less confident. Listen to people’s negative responses and use that information to make your work and strategies better. Find people who like your ideas and surround yourself with those people. When the energy is positive, more creative ideas and strategies unfold, it’s pretty amazing and energizing to be with people who inspire you.
Take Risks
Taking on small risks and conquering them will build your resiliency to take on bigger risk. Have you ever had the urge to speak up about something or act on something? Did your internal voice tell you to do it, but then you didn't? Practice building resiliency by listening to your voice and acting on it....(of course it has to be legal and ethical).......
When you do this, you will have a rush of adrenaline and will see it was no big deal. The more times you do this, the better your confidence will be. More confidence makes you become more mentally tough. You will condition your mind to eventually be able to handle higher stress situations that many are afraid of tackling.
When you are mentally tough, you will not be scared of risk and risk will not be a fear factor suppressing you. It will be a challenge for you and it will give you intense motivation and energy to tackle the situation. When you feel and experience this......you are becoming mentally tougher.
Till next time,
Mel K
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