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Missions from Pain

Three years ago, we were robbed. Being robbed leaves you feeling vulnerable. You feel invaded. Your sense of security is gone. You lose trust.

No, our home was not physically broken into. The robber is not a human form. The robber in our lives has a name. The robber's name is suicide. Suicide breaks into you life and steals your heart. Suicide robs you of your future. Your future plans, hopes, and dreams. It robs you of the what-should-have-beens, but now will never be; the graduations, the wedding, the grandkids, new memories made. It robs you of who you once were, for now you will never be the same.

Suicide is a double edged sword. It doesn't just rob you, it also gives to you. It gives you guilt, emptiness, loneliness, loss of friends, strained relationships, doubts, a broken heart, a new normal, heartache that will never fully go away. It gives you recall; recalling the past and over analyzing it, again and again. It gives you questions: did we do enough? could we have prevented it? what truly went wrong?

Our son's suicide also gave me a mission. A mission to become a published author about our loss in hopes of preventing someone else from making the same choice. A mission to become an advocate for suicide awareness and prevention. A mission to help end this epidemic and save lives. A mission to become a guest speaker on the subject of suicide and mental illness. A mission to reach out to strangers; for now, everyone I meet, there is a reason for it.

Our son's suicide also gave us 5 new family members. Our son registered as an organ donor when he got his drivers license at 16 years old. His choice saved 5 lives. We've had the pleasure of meeting 4 of his 5 recipients, all of which have taken on aspects of Pierce. This is the greatest gift. To get to see your loved one live on in the lives of others who otherwise, would not be here. #GodIsGreatAllTheTime

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